Here's a bit of an update. We started this yesterday, a Wednesday. I figured we needed more than 5 days to do this. So "Monday's" instructions are very simple. 1. Say it once and walk away 2. No warnings or reminders 3. Keep a happy tone and pleasant face. OK the toughest part would seem to be expecting the kids to do anything after being told only once. The trick is not letting them move forward with anything else until it gets done. It worked. Clay threw his clothes on the kitchen floor because he was mad about something. I told him to pick them up and went back to reading (this book). Of course he ignored me. Then he came back a few minutes later completely forgetting the clothes on the floor. He wanted me to help him put his pants on. I told him no. He looked at me weird. Then I gestured at the clothes on the floor. He mumbled something and scooped them up and put them away. Whoa, it actually worked and didn't take that long. There is a warning that things will get worse before they get better. That's a good sign that the power is shifting from kid to parent. Things are definitely getting tougher but they are improving with each battle.
The hardest part of this is trying not to repeat which happens out of habit and keeping any reactions to horrible behavior or a nasty attitude bottled up. Today is day 2 and Clay actually went up and got himself dressed with a smile on his face. First he came back naked after I told him to get dressed. I was a little nervous. What was I going to hold back to keep him from going forward. I was on the computer looking at pictures and Clay naturally wanted to see. So HE showed me what I needed to hold back. I asked, "What were you supposed to do first?" And he smiled and ran up and dressed. Boy oh boy if this is all we get from this book I'll be happy. We'll see what "Tuesday" brings.
I am making Scott read this. We need to be united in our attack. He hasn't yet. Maybe I should employ step one! Dr. Leman does say these principals work from ages 2 to adult. I'm having wonderfully evil ideas now.........There are specific solutions for specific problems in the back of the book. One of the things that puts Scott through the roof is the state of disaster the kids' rooms become in a blink of an eye. Santa kept the kids on their toes and the rooms were immaculate for a whole month. Christmas passes and the pigs move home. Scott will be sorely disappointed that Dr. Leman waved the white flag on this issue. He says his kids, as perfectly reared as they are, have toxic waste rooms. His solution is to set a 2 day a week clean room rule. If the rooms aren't clean on those 2 specific days he will hire a sibling or neighbor kid to come in and do it. The kid gets paid out of the slob's allowance. Plus, how humiliating to have someone else go through your stuff? Sounds awesome for teens! I'm not sure what to do right now.
I'm not quite ready to institute allowances. I've read children should do things because they are part of the family and that is that. They should get an allowance whether they do the work or not. But I'm having trouble instilling the innate desire to help the family in my kids. I must have children who are the exception to the rule. Yeah right! This sounds like socialist propaganda. I am definitely going to have to rethink this belief. It's obviously something I read BEFORE I had children. Stupid silly naive me.
The hardest part of this is trying not to repeat which happens out of habit and keeping any reactions to horrible behavior or a nasty attitude bottled up. Today is day 2 and Clay actually went up and got himself dressed with a smile on his face. First he came back naked after I told him to get dressed. I was a little nervous. What was I going to hold back to keep him from going forward. I was on the computer looking at pictures and Clay naturally wanted to see. So HE showed me what I needed to hold back. I asked, "What were you supposed to do first?" And he smiled and ran up and dressed. Boy oh boy if this is all we get from this book I'll be happy. We'll see what "Tuesday" brings.
I am making Scott read this. We need to be united in our attack. He hasn't yet. Maybe I should employ step one! Dr. Leman does say these principals work from ages 2 to adult. I'm having wonderfully evil ideas now.........There are specific solutions for specific problems in the back of the book. One of the things that puts Scott through the roof is the state of disaster the kids' rooms become in a blink of an eye. Santa kept the kids on their toes and the rooms were immaculate for a whole month. Christmas passes and the pigs move home. Scott will be sorely disappointed that Dr. Leman waved the white flag on this issue. He says his kids, as perfectly reared as they are, have toxic waste rooms. His solution is to set a 2 day a week clean room rule. If the rooms aren't clean on those 2 specific days he will hire a sibling or neighbor kid to come in and do it. The kid gets paid out of the slob's allowance. Plus, how humiliating to have someone else go through your stuff? Sounds awesome for teens! I'm not sure what to do right now.
I'm not quite ready to institute allowances. I've read children should do things because they are part of the family and that is that. They should get an allowance whether they do the work or not. But I'm having trouble instilling the innate desire to help the family in my kids. I must have children who are the exception to the rule. Yeah right! This sounds like socialist propaganda. I am definitely going to have to rethink this belief. It's obviously something I read BEFORE I had children. Stupid silly naive me.
2 comments:
That is awsome! If it works this good all the way to the end of the "week" I am so buying it! sweet Skyla has become Crazy Screaming I am going to do what i want Skyla....I dont know if i can take her so let me know how it goes!
That is one crazy room! Clay must be loving it!!
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